


Have You Ever Been in Love?

by IssuesoftheSoul



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Eivor basically has a monologue, Eivor is soft and cries, F/F, Not really angst but lots of yearning, just a lot of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27853214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IssuesoftheSoul/pseuds/IssuesoftheSoul
Summary: Octavian's words can't leave Eivor's head. She turned down Randvi at the ruins, but she is unsure if she can hold on to her honor much longer.Or, Eivor spills her feelings for Randvi.
Relationships: Eivor/Randvi (Assassin's Creed)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 117





	Have You Ever Been in Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Ooh let's sleep with Randvi at the first possible moment.  
> Also me: But the yearning!
> 
> I'm so bad at writing but I desperately needed to write and share this.

_ “Eivor, have you ever been in love?... I wonder if you know the feeling of having your very heart pulled from your chest as it pursues the elusive object of your desire? I wonder if you have ever known the bitter agony of seeing your beloved in the arms of another?” _

Of course, those words had all been about some artifact Octavian was obsessed with, but for a second there, Eivor couldn’t breathe. Was her pining so evident that even those new to the Raven clan knew of her feelings for Randvi? She had tried so hard to hide it. Some relief came when Randvi was not brought up, but Eivor was unsettled.

She had told Randvi a month before that this was not the time for them to be together. Then Sigurd got taken, and now she is working hard to bring him back; the timing seems even worse than it was that day at the ruins. But she would not interfere in Sigurd’s marriage, no matter how much she wants to.

Eivor quickly left for Lunden without another word to anyone else in Ravensthorpe. She even spent some time with Stowe, hoping the handsome British man could help her forget about Randvi. But it was to no avail. Even he could see that her heart wasn’t in it, and they parted, agreeing to be friends rather than anything more. Even if Eivor’s heart was available, it would be difficult to love each other from afar. Alas, as it was, Eivor’s heart became unavailable when she first met Randvi three winters ago, shortly before her 23rd year.

Eivor is back in Ravensthorpe now and gave Octavian what he wanted. She walks to the longhouse, continuing to mull over his words from a week ago. Her heart feels ready to explode, and she is unsure if she can tame it any longer.

_ “I wonder if you have ever known the bitter agony of seeing your beloved in the arms of another?” _

Yes, Eivor did know that. She was captivated instantly by Randvi when they met during her and Sigurd’s wedding celebration (Eivor having left days before on a raiding trip and only arriving during the feast). 

She knew she loved the woman with the fiery hair after Randvi whisked her away from Fornsburg for her 23rd spring. Randvi and Sigurd had been married for nearly half a year at that point, and the former battlemaiden was now very comfortable in her new clan. The two had spent the day together, only returning for the evening feast. As she watched Randvi dance, drink, and laugh, she knew she was in love with the woman. She tasted her first real case of heartbreak when she saw Randvi and Sigurd lovingly holding each other in their arms, wishing she was the one holding the woman and not her brother.

Eivor shakes her memories once she reaches the longhouse and strides into the alliance room. Randvi looks up with a smile and greets her, but her smile falters when she sees Eivor’s thoughtful look.

“Eivor, is everything alright?”

Eivor softly shakes her head and responds, “No, not really. Can we speak in your chambers? I would like this to be as private as possible.”

Randvi nods before walking the short distance to her room, Eivor trailing behind her. Once Eivor is in the room, she closes the wooden door softly. When she turns around, Randvi is looking at her, standing by her bed. Eivor remains at the door.

Randvi opens her mouth, prepared to say something, but Eivor holds her hand up, silently asking her to hold off so she can speak first.

Usually, she would let Randvi speak first, but her heart is about to burst.

“Randvi, I know we spoke about matters of the heart at the ruins some time ago, and at the time, I said it was not the time for us to be together. I still believe that this is the case. But I have been thinking.

“Octavian, that odd little man who runs the museum, was talking about being in love and the hurt that comes with it. He was referring to some artifact, but my mind jumped immediately to you.”

Eivor pauses for a second, changing her eyesight from the floor to Randvi’s face. The tablemaiden’s face is as if made of stone; Eivor cannot get a read on her. Eivor gulps in some air and continues.

“Randvi, I have been in love with you almost from the start. That first year you were married to Sigurd, my heart learned to love you and learned how to be hurt by you, even though you were not doing it intentionally. When Sigurd left for two winters, I was sad to see him go, but I was so happy to spend more time with you alone. My foolish heart did not know any better and kept creating space for you to fill. I am so desperately in love with you.

“But despite all of this, the gods have shown me that it is still not our time. Valka warns I will betray Sigurd, and I fear this is what she means. When I rescue Sigurd, I cannot have him think I betrayed him by being with you, no matter how much I want to be with you.”

Eivor finishes her speech, entirely out of breath, not only from talking so much but from holding back tears and trying to minimize her shaking. Somewhere along the way, her gaze shifted back to her feet.

Randvi remains silent for a while, processing Eivor’s feelings. There was no doubt in her mind that Eivor cared for her as she cared for the drengr, but she had no idea of the depths of those feelings. Until now.

Randvi snaps out of her head long enough to notice that Eivor is shaking and nearly crying. It was clear to Randvi that Eivor had wanted to tell her of her love for her for a long time. It appeared to be emotionally draining for the drengr to come clean.

She makes her way towards Eivor. When Eivor hears the noise, her face snaps up from the ground to look at Randvi.

“Randvi, please,” she strangles out, “Please do not come near me.” She takes a step back as the woman of her desires moves forward.

The tablemaiden does not listen and instead closes the distance between them. Eivor is fully pressed against the door at this point, and the tears start to make their way down her face. Randvi cups Eivor’s face in her hands and thumbs away the tears.

“Shh, Eivor. It’s okay.”

Eivor chokes out a laugh devoid of humor, “How is it okay? How is any of this okay? I am in love with my best friend, who is married to my brother. I am a terrible person.”

“You do not mean that, Eivor.”

“I do! My heart is tied to yours while it remains Sigurd’s. I am a bad person for letting it get so tangled over the past few winters. Your heart cannot be mine, no matter that my heart is yours. I should not have let my feelings deepen for you as much as they have.”

“Eivor, look at me.”

Eivor shifts her eyes around, still not looking into Randvi’s. Randvi lightly tugs her face forwards so that Eivor has to look into her eyes. 

“You are not a terrible person. You cannot control who you love. You are honorable, and you won’t betray Sigurd, no matter what Valka says.”

At that, Eivor takes a shaky breath. Randvi continues.

“Eivor, I love you too. I want to be with you. Even when Sigurd comes back, I will be happy to see him, but only because I care for him as a friend. We will talk eventually, and I will inform him I am no longer happy with him. But, I will not force you to be with me before you are ready, no matter how much I wish we could be together right now.” 

Eivor sniffles, “Thank you. Gods, you must think I am pathetic. A mighty drengr who can fell many foes but is weak when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“My love, you are not pathetic. You are so brave for allowing yourself to be vulnerable like this. To trust me with this information.”

Randvi doesn’t realize she let the term of endearment slip from her lips until she finds that Eivor is looking at her in shock. After she realizes what she said, she lightly blushes. Even though they have admitted their love for each other, Randvi expected to maintain a clamp on her feelings afterward.

It is Randvi’s turn to be shocked when Eivor kisses her cheek, letting her lips linger for a few seconds. Randvi clears her throat and steps back, allowing the tension to lessen slightly as her cheeks grow almost as red as her hair.

Eivor makes as if she is going to leave but then pauses before the door can open. Her face is now empty of any traces of her crying. She speaks up.

“Randvi, I am glad you feel the same way, but it is too tempting for me to remain here for long, knowing you are not mine.”

Randvi sighs and nods. She anticipates what Eivor will say next.

“We must lock our feelings away. I will be working on our next alliance for quite some time. After that, I’ll continue hunting down clues on the Order in other regions. Hopefully, it will lead me closer to Sigurd. Maybe one day, our time will come.”

With that, she leaves.

“Hopefully sooner rather than later,” Randvi whispers to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Any mistakes are my own. I feel like this is so bad, but I had a lot of feelings.
> 
> Come say hi to me on tumblr: @issuesofthesoul


End file.
